​As I'm writing this, I'm sitting in the house I grew up in, in Bridgetown WA, next to the fireplace! In December! That's unheard of. 
But the weather is doing all sorts of things these days.

December has arrived and come to pass just as quickly it seems.
December is always a bit like that I guess, what with Christmas time and New Years etc eating into a whole bunch of time. I remember this being a nice time of year for having a long over-due break, but now I feel like a break is not what I need - there's work to be done and I need to get on with it!

Again, a lot seems to have happened since my last journal! Was I expecting to be in WA still? I'm not sure. Possibly. It seemed to be confirmed when I decided to start looking at vans on gumtree.

After some time looking, and as I was leaving the Dep of Transport as a WA driver again (as I'd decided moving back as a base - at least, was a good idea) the perfect priced van seemed to appear, and it was a Starwagon, which I had been wanting. I checked out an older model one in VIC months earlier but it wasn't right at all. This one seemed to tick all the boxes though. On a whim, I jumped on a train to Glendalough to get ahead of all the interested potential buyers. Before long, I'd made a split-second decision to buy the van.

On the way to the bank - there it was.
The sign from the universe confirming my decision was the right one.
An S-Cargo parked out the front of a business called 'changeovers'!

Frankie the S-Cargo, you were a great first car. Now its time for Misty the Starbus. I've got big plans for Misty, so before I dash back up to the city for NYE tomorrow night I might try my hand at taking out the middle row of seats and getting started on curtains which I've just found the perfect fabric for.
But the Starbus will be a long term project, and she's definitely headed for the east coast, but when and where, time will tell.

In music news, as well as having spent a fair bit more time down in Freo, busking at the markets, playing open mics etc, and helping out at Janets market stall Little Sketchy,  I was lucky enough to be selected as a South by Southbound finalist. 

This involved competing in heats at Clancys Fish Pub in Dunsborough.
On the day of the heat I managed to lose the tuner I usually use though.
So, when it came time to play, and one of my guitars wasnt working, I thought I could manage to do the set with a tuning change. Usually this would be fine, but the tuner played a trick on me. What felt like an eternity passed as I failed to successfully change the tuning of the guitar, then realising I wasn't noticing the sharp sign. I lost the crowd for a while there and focussed in on getting tuned and managed to finally get it done. After what could have been another whole song, the crowd applauds as I get back on with it. 
But needless to say, I was no longer really a contender in this. And just as well, because I was stoked to see Brayden Sibbald up there on stage at Southbound (which I managed to find myself at anyway), do yourself a favour and download or have a listen to his track Maybe I Was Small. Powerful stuff.

After a low key Christmas spent with my Mum and my brother doing a small ancenstral tour and flying even smaller kites (or failing to) Southbound was upon us, and I had planned to be helping out at The Kiwi Chef, but due to numbers being not quite as they had expected, I instead found myself becoming an extra addition to the body marbling team, spending most of the time either there serending bored staff, or dancing like my life depended on it between the Silent Disco and Tomas Fords Crap Rave Party. The only thing that could possibly beat this is if Tomas Ford created started a Silent Crap Rave Disco. You're welcome.

​

Which brings me back to the road home. I was already in the process of deciding that, YES, WA roads are the scariest of all. Why does everyone say 'stay safe on the roads' over here? Because the majority of people drive like lunatics. There's speeding up and slowing down and there's tailgating on winding roads, and all o that jazz. There's signs on the freeways sayng 'give way to merging traffic' ... really??!

But then!

I finally had my first experience with a Roo and a Road.

And this is after having traversed the majority of Australian main roads over the last several years. Including the Nullarbor and the East Coast. 

In all that time, the only thing I had seen that came close was a sheep standing on the side of the road when crossing the nullarbor. 

That is until today.

After managing to get away from a tailgater, I knew something was up with this drive and that after a big few days getting festy, I should be extra focussed on the road. Don't ask me how I knew this, I just knew. Then, just outside Greenbushes, there he was up ahead bouncing around like its nobodys business, a young roo dancing dangerously close to death. His path was set on a bit of an angle that put him pretty much exactly where I was going to be if I didnt brake immediately. So I did that, and at a much slower speed, my starbus and the roo had this awkward encounter which was a little bit like... 'oops, sorry, where are you going, I'm going this way, ok you go that way I'll go this way' 

Luckily I was well up ahead of the rest of the traffic flow or things could have been a bit hectic. But things seemed to flow and after a little bit of shock, I was more impressed than anything that I managed to cause no damage to the roo or the van.

Here is an artists impression of what this little scene looked like:

November is now winding up, and it has only really been 3 months, if that, since I had a job. I've grown accustomed to telling people "I quit my job" now, but with it comes the added responsibility of filling in the gaps for them.

The thing is, most of the time - now - I don't know the way I'm going, but the path eventually appears.

A lot has happened since I last wrote in October already, but I'll go back to that in a moment.

First up, I got asked a question two days ago by a friend of a friend where I'm staying. It was prefaced by the somewhat flattering introduction of "I'm interested to hear about you, what's your story" to which a previous version of myself would have become overly excited about, and after downplaying the few dotpoints that best explain my existence, he continued with, "what are you doing here?" to which I replied, "you know what, I don't know!"

I think this answer made perfect sense, on both a geo-specific level, and a more existential level. 

To some degree, I am here to see my family, but most people just spend a week or so doing that. I always had the inclination to come back here for a little while longer. Possibly because I felt like I "ran away" by uprooting myself so abruptly seven or so years ago. Then I found myself in the situation that led me here "indefinitely"

I've now decided, I came here to learn to let go. Ironically, it took being here to learn that I don't need to be here.

Thank you, infographic, for showing me the way:

Now that I've come to peace with that, I can enjoy my time here, and the plans I've made, which - just as the last few months have been - don't reveal themselves too much more than a week or a few ahead. Then, when the path back to where I need to be reveals itself, I will take it.

When I last blogged I was in Brisbane, reflecting on time spent in Bellingen and Byron Bay. I had time to see my aunt in Brisbane, that week, before playing at a local music night where we met some talented emerging artists there, and heading down to Sydney where another Aunt let us bunk in the converted garage. 

In Sydney the week flew by with a spot of busking with my bandmate Reuben, from a past music life (Zoe Ryan & The Dandy Lion days) in Newtown, and a good session or two in St Leonards - where we met Navid, and I witnessed the bizarre phenomenon of not just my music making kids dance like crazy, but literally trying to climb over the edge of a shallow water feature to immerse themself in the water. On top of that, a couple of shows including one to begin the week in a pub under the harbour bridge, and one to finish the visit in Newtown before making tracks. 

After dropping Andy in Canberra, I enjoyed a nice stopover in Goulburn with an old friend (Acacia, I didn't tell you this but you have the most impeccable book collection in your spare room and I need to come back because I only got half way through them) before making a quick detour for lunch in Temora on the way back to Melbourne. As I drove the unfamiliar road into Goulburn, two planes seemed to do backflips in the air above me, and I had to double-take as to whether I was dreaming, or accidentially in a film set.

Rachel Clark soon informed me that Temora has Victorias only two spitfire planes, so my faith in my own sanity was restored. Being that Rachel was my first ever support act for a gig in Melbourne, it was somewhat nostalgic and very cathartic to catch up in a country town that many years on, play each other new songs, talk about the trials and tribulations of making records, and part ways knowing we wil have time again soon. I then proceeded to listen to Rachel's Album In Pieces on repeat. Then I drove for ages, and was in Melbourne, and definitely should have had breaks because some crazy roundabout in Reservoir nearly got me. 

Anyway. It was back to Melbourne for a short time, but not for long. Just long enough to get back in the studio and finish recording the song I've been working on, which - if all goes according to plan - will be my first single release in something like 3 years, and - I'll let you in on a secret - should be off an album. I have no idea how long the album is going to take, but if the single is anything to go by, I don't think it will be ready until the year after.

Somehow I got my studio days communication stuff messed up, and I found myself with a week to spare, so true to form, a bender was afoot. 
This was not without finding the time - between partying - to rock up to RRR studios at midnight on Halloween to play the most contrary music to the topic ever possible on RRR's aptly named late night talk-back show The Party Show

#leavesthepartytogotothepartyshow #leavesthepartyshowtogotoanotherparty 

And apparently, in doing so, attained the very privelidge of meeting the unknown late night ghost of radio, Hedley. 

Fast forward to studio time, and somehow I hadn't quite managed to successfully pack up my entire Melbourne-life, either before leaving for Bellingen etc, or before getting into the studio even though I had one way flight to Perth booked for that evening. It seemed impossible.

Somehow, though, everything just worked. I got the notes out. We got what we needed down. I got to the airport on time (with help, much appreciated) and even had time for a drink before getting on the plane, which is new territory for me #needanotherdrink 
#personaldevelopmentatitsbest

An old school friend happened to be on the plane, and as we caught up on the way to the baggage carousel I couldn't help feeling like I was in an entirely new city. Once we got out of the airport, the familiarity set in, but I still keep saying, after this long and with that much change now possible, its like being in the old city, with an overlay of an entirely new city on top #urbanplanningbrainkicksin

Suddenly, I was caught up in WAMfest. With access to a pass, I found myself back in the music conference gathering game and realizing I'm perhaps a little addicted even though I've now been to a zillion. But there's no better time to be in Perth, with the music scene literally going bonkers. Music venues have popped up here there and everywhere since I was around, and the scene appears to be buzzing. Highlights of WAMfest include the Quaynote Boat party, and of course, the Parlour x Lush Showcase on the Sunday I was lucky to be a part of.

Since WAMfest I have found myself at the late night bar at Jack Rabbit Slims a few too many times (I'm talking waaaaay after the gig finished), to point that I've had to restrain myself and give myself a brief alcohol ban. It seems like I can't be trusted even at my own show, when a mid-week Babuska slot turns into a late night kebab stop. So I'm reigning it in a little. Its time to get back on the street, or mall as it would be here. I did manage to get out to Murray Street Mall for a busk the other day, and learned that - just like before, when the shops shut, its mass exodus. Perth's changed, but it hasn't changed that much.
So, I should not have been surprised at all when I heard a voice behind me shout "Zoe" and I turned around to see Daphne, who I had been telling tales of only days earlier. Daphne is local to the Perth city busking area, and I met her several years ago when I was watching a busker and she sat next to me and explained all about the buskers, how she dances to them, and I told her I am a musician, that I didnt have CD's or a set up yet, but that I would come back and busk. I do always try to keep my word.


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Coming up

December 14th @ The Spruce Goose, Subiaco

 above: Byron Bay

​As I'm writing this, I've finally had a day to sit down and catch up on all things computer. That's a feeling I definitely couldn't remember when I last posted, but its refreshing. Rather than the obligation of being tied to the screen all day, I'm forcing myself to sit down in front of one! Currently, we're in Brisbane, relaxing in the serenity of Pinjarra Hills, with my beautiful and talented red-head songwriter friend Luize and her incredibly hospitable family (who I must mention also made the Brisbane leg of The Patchwork Hearts Tour possible in 2014 as well)

Since my last post in August I have:

- Started recording a new single in Melbourne
- Taken up bass and featured in a music video
- Played at a Festival in support of an endangered species of Turtle, in Bellingen
- Spent a lot of time driving!
- Spent time busking in Byron Bay and Brisbane, and sold a number of CDs
- Booked some shows (sort of) 
- Learned that time passes faster than it should in Byron Bay
- Decided that Brisbane roads are insane & in the cbd busking ettiquette has gone astray, but your best bet are markets
- Learned that, sometimes when you least expect it, the universe will reward you

As August was winding up, I had just quit my job at a music magazine, and had some vague ideas about busking around Australia/getting out of Melbourne, and a new song to work on in the studio. It was time to get back in there after a gap of nearly three years, and as it happened I had just met Andy/Pandy (Atluk, Fiig, Dream in Colour Kidz) who helped out a little with writing my new single and also introduced me to Peter Bee (Studio Bee, Clairy Browne & the Bangin' Rackettes) who has now started producing the next studio recording I will put out (and is working on that as we speak, whilst I'm out of town.) Although I am not revealing too much about the song just yet, and it won't be something you find out until next year, you might notice the line 'need another drink' and the cocktail emoji here or there, and you would definitely be helping the cause if, every time you feel like you need another drink (for whatever reason) you were to take a photo of your drink and post it with the hashtag #needanotherdrink

After quitting my job and realising I had all this time ahead of me, I managed to get myself added to the Bellingen Turtlefest lineup as a last minute addition (which I also chatted with old-work aka The Music about) and Andy had agreed to join me playing the Festival, so the countdown was on to get as much recording done, as well as Pandy's music video (where I found myself unsuspectingly taking up bass) before getting ourselves 14 hours up the road to Bellingen!

​Suddenly, the festival was just a couple of days away, and after a long night of packing my life up for a later day and fitting the majority of it into my currently broken-down S-Cargo van, which I am lucky enough to have been able to leave in the driveway of my last residence where Michaela will hold down the fort with The Dandy Lion Dreaming Co. (our joint venture - you might recognise our mascot The dandy Lion) whilst continuing to build her amazing blog Soultura (both of which I recommend you check out!), we were on the road to Bellingen!

​
Pics - Left to right:
Row 1:Pandy 'Pictures in the Sand' music vid shoot by Centinal Productions

above: local flora & fauna @ the Arts factory, Byron Bay 

​Not only was the scorching sun turning a tent into a furnace a rude awakening, but camp in the Arts Factory and leave any kind of bag of belongings outside your tent, and you are certain to also hear pecking and shuffling going on outside your tent. Throughout our stay, a gang of wild turkeys managed to get into not only our food supply, and massacre and entire dozen carton of eggs, but also toiletries as well. I am certain that whole bars of soap were consumed by these guys!

Although as musicians we were definitely outnumbered by your real travelling travellers (and wildlife - turkeys, lizards, and a family of ducks) we were still well catered for with both the Arts Factory talent night which offered an impressive sized attentive international audience, and the unexpected open mic the following night as well. After an unexpected daytrip/detour back to Bellingen, and back again(!!!) we arrived back to the Arts Factory to hear what sounded like another talent night? 

 After some exploring, Andy discovered that it was coming from the Brewery next door. Before I had time to do anything about it, Andy had signed us each up for a set. After 7 hours on the road, I was pretty tired, the beer garden was cold, and the crowd was sparse. But as soon as I picked up the guitar my mood picked up again, and apparently we did so well that the weekly $100 gift voucher that we didn't know about went to us. So, you just never know what rewards the universe has in store for you. After a week of roughing it and being robbed by bush turkeys, we got to have a night of relative luxury at the brewery to round out the week.

Not before getting out and about busking, though. Byron Bay isn't uncommon territory for buskers, so it can seem challenging at times, and finding a spot that works might be difficult if you seek too much advice on the matter. But the best approach, I have found, whether its in Byron, or anywhere, is to not think about it and just set up where you think is best. As long as there's not another busker too close * (on two occasions I had to move in the Brisbane *grumble grumble*)

After settling in near the park on the first day, I soon found myself with the local community of Byron characters surrounding me. Whether these gentleman have a place to call home or not, I can't be sure exactly, but what I can be sure of is they have a strong community, their bonds are like a brotherhood, they know almost everyone in town, they have big BIG hearts, and are apparently more generous than the majority of passers by I encountered in Byron Bay or anywhere that week, not to discount, though, the beautiful souls who did add to my bounty, or pick up a CD.

Staying at the Arts Factory and getting out busking on the streets of Byron for the first time were a bit like a coming of age, and after an almost rocky start where I almost wanted to throw in the towel for the whole busking thing in general, let alone the Byron leg, things took a turn for the absolute opposite as soon as I got out on the street and started playing music. I should mention, I have busked before, but only a handful of times. Like I once found the stage, I have found the street to be a vulnerable place. But - I am finding - it is well worth it. (I managed to pick up a copy of 'Feel the fear and do it anyway' at a delightful little second hand book store when passing through Coffs Harbour, and I'm sure Jeffers' are words to live by.)

And the thing that surprised me the most? Armed with a collection of covers, as well as my own work, I soon learned it didn't matter what I was playing, covers or originals. Regardless of the song, people were generally responding really positively to whatever I was playing. There's always those who look a bit uncomfortable about the prospect of what they are about to walk past and what it means to them, perhaps the kind of people that don't really feel or think that music is any kind of soul nourishment or anything like that, or perhaps they are just shy or embarrassed about the fact that the social norm is to throw money at us, and they don't particularly want to. It's a shame that there can sometimes be a stigma around busking, when it can also be such a joyful and non-theatening experience as well, and has the power to positively transform the entire urban landscape within earshot.

Once again, time in Byron seemed to have lapsed much quicker than is natural for a stay in this place, just like the first time I was there. Within less than a week the Arts factory and its jungle paradise and local wildlife (backpackers and turkeys included) felt like home, and it was already time to leave home again. 

And just as we returned to our campsite, which we had pre-packed up before one final lunch at the Brewery to make the most of our winnings there, we returned to find that we weren't the only ones winning at lunch! The wild turkeys had gotten into our food supply again - this time ravaging entire packets of two minute noodles! Noodles were scattered all over the grass, as at least 5 of these birds gobbled around, pecking away at what they had found. 

​

above: caught noodling! wild turkeys caught in the act 
​
Brisbane seemed like just a hop skip and a jump away after the rest of the long distance drives we had been on, so by the time we got to Luizes house a shorter drive and a house with a bed and a kitchen and a bathroom seemed like the Ritz! We sat down for a cuppa and appreciated that the sand had been replaced with floorboards, and the turkeys and lizards with Cats and dogs.

More well needed rest was on the cards, before venturing to Davies Park Market. Although this time we hadn't managed to book in advance for a spot on the stage, that was no issue with the majority of foot traffic heading through the gorgeous shaded corridor, bustling with market goers and well-spirited-traders. The vibe of this market was beyond my expectations. By this point in time, Andy and I had entered into a busk-off, and although there was less than a dollar in it for the Davies Park Market busk-off, I think he managed to beat me on this stop, with the addition of a bunch of bananas and an avocado.
 
Next up, we thought we'd try our hand at the Brisbane CBD area, so we hauled everything onto a train, which at $4.80 each way is apparently better than a $30 parking bill, and set ourselves up. Unfortunately, after many attempts at contact, the Brisbane council marketing department responsible for the live music programming never responded. So I set up next to an unused stage, that well could have been used with the proper processes in place.
Luckily, this meant that as I began to play, there was a small stage available for a young girl to convince her sister that they should take to the stage, dancing to my music. Once again, on this trip, the next generation have managed to restore my faith in humanity. Unfortunately, before long, another busker had found himself a spot about ten meters or so away, where his circle act began to cause a scene that folk music can't rival, to a beat that fingerpicking can't gel competing against. So four songs and 2 sushi rolls in, I decided to pack up and move on. Ironically, as I had managed to strike up a convo with a passing musician, the busker chimed in to say hello and make friends, whilst letting me know that apparently amplified busking is not allowed in this part of the mall. Yet, they've got a stage there, and the council staff don't get back to passing-through-town-musicians. Go figure!

Upon some advice, I moved over to King George Square, where the announcements directed at banned skateboarders, and the giant advertising TV billboard in combination made the space seem eerily dystopian. So, what else is there to do but play some calming folk music to put everyone at ease. Although the space was larger than my amplifier could cater for, a relaxed crowd of sitting urban dwellers were peacefully listening. I managed to get through at least a set worth of songs or so, before a two piece with a drumkit decided to set up about as far away as the last busker had from me. 

It was time to call it a day! Whilst I won't say we've given up on busking in Brisbane, the CBD doesn't seem anywhere near as viable for folk music than the market scene has been, but we are yet to try the valley. So that's up next.

We've got a couple of days left here before heading on to Sydney, and back to Melbourne to finish up our various projects where I'll get back in the studio, and Andy will be launching 'Pictures in the Sand', then I'll start on my own video.

I'll be posting again with more news from the road as part of this blog, but I would also love to invite you to be a part of the team through Patreon. Now that I've left work, its becoming clear that this is going to be a difficult journey, and although I am determined and resourceful, the pace at which things can progress could be significantly improved through the support of Patrons, so I am opening this up to people as a way to support and get news, updates an exclusive content from the road more regularly, as well as becoming entitled to all sorts of VIP street team benefits for life, as the project grows and we become able to put on bigger and more exciting shows in more places, etc. You can become various levels of street team supporter, or an angel investor if you are that way inclined and able.

Please do take a minute to visit my Patreon page and see what it's all about

That's all for now, but here's what's on the (immediate) horizon, performance-wise:

What's coming up?
A few open mic spots over the next few weeks:

- Tonight at the Empire Hotel, Brisbane/The Valley (Monday 10th October) Fortitude Valley QLD

- Tuesday 13th October in Sydney - Harbour View Hotel, The Rocks/Dawes Point NSW

- Thursdy 18th October in Sydney - Kellys on King, Newtown, NSW

- Sunday 30th October - Darebin Music feast buskers stage @ Preston Fresh Hood; Preston Markets opposite Preston train station

Three years ago, I started on my first recording project. I had spent several years out of high school thinking that I wanted to become an Architect, and although I knew music was my first love, a formal music education was never on the cards for me. So when music became the distraction to my studies, it was time to throw what I had at the music game. Ready or not, I wanted to make a record, and I'm glad I did that.

The path each of us takes in life is an unfolding one, and with every decision we make or action we take comes a process of learning and inner growth. 
In many ways, our expectations of the outcome of our decision or action are often unfulfilled in at least some way, yet when enough time passes, looking back on what we have done with ourselves, we often find those decisions we made back then have made us into the person who is now capable of taking the next step, and would not have been if it weren't for those earlier decisions.

My first record was about building something together with the community directly around me, a collaboration of sorts, which wasn't as much about a mass reach as it was about creating something special with those who might know just enough about me or what I was doing to care a little, a patchwork of individual perspectives, and I suspect this concept was because I knew that the time had not yet come to make my mark in the world or set the tone for myself as an artist just yet. I think artists grow up at different stages, and I was still very young, and a little bit naive perhaps, but possibly just the right amount, so that I could take that step. To this day, I think of this record like stepping inside a cocoon, and the time between records as that time spent in the cocoon with the emergence being whatever I do next.

In the few years that followed that record, I learned a great deal about myself, about life, death, and the individual and our place in it all. 

I remember a day in 2014 when I was working a part time job I was really not enjoying, walking along Southbank - one of my favourite parts of the city - and being plagued by thoughts of work, but also noticing something special about the way the light was hitting the trees that day, and the beauty of it all, despite my futile anguish. 

That was the day before my Dad died, unexpectedly. I had called my Mum to talk about my work woes, which I had not wanted to burden him with that day or the day before, but my call was met with distress and Mum could not talk and hurried me off the phone because there was an ambulance there. I knew in that moment exactly what was about to happen.

Dad died of a heart attack, and I'd been making a record about all of our 'patchwork hearts.' The day he died, the title track 'Your Patchwork Heart' played on a community station somewhere up in Queensland, just as out of the blue as his passing was, at around about that time of day. It wasn't on high rotation anywhere, so the strange synchronicity of that still stays with me. 

I decided to tour the record with what little resources I had, and was lucky enough to - even in my grieving and shocked state - string a tour together, which I really have Steph  (Quintessential Doll) to thank for, and the members of The Dandy Lion at the time who came together to play as many shows as they each could of the tour, considering I had minimal planning or budgeting capability at that time. I was adamant on seeing it through, though.

After spending time on the road, touring the record and basically 'winging it' financially, the reality of everything set in. I hadn't had the 'great success' that the band and I had 'anticipated' (this is what I mean when I say expectations of outcomes of actions are often unfulfilled in some ways - release your expectations, and you will free yourself a lot) and although, really, we did succeed, I couldn't attribute the way I was going to survive in the world to that record, it just wasn't going to do it. Not that record, not this time. I'd never been really good with finances, so it was time to buckle down and slot into the real world for a little while.

I got myself a job working full time at the most well known stadium in Melbourne, where I spent the better part of a year working in HR, and in that time I found myself working 6 or more days a week and barely having the energy to live let alone play shows, and played only a handful of shows that year, and then by some miracle a job in the music industry came up and I found myself there for a year. I started pushing myself to play more with a slightly lessened but still intensive full time work load, and replaced my Friday nights with front bar residencies.

With Dad being gone all of a sudden, there had been this newsflash reality thing where you realise the nest isn't going to be there forever. You need to start building your own nest early enough in life that its going to be there later. The sticks and bits and pieces you put into it you want to be the right things; you want to build the life you want to live. Sometimes that involves some sacrifices. Like putting yourself in the 9-5 grind for a while to get good at that, so that you can get yourself a job in the industry you love and want to live for, so that you can find yourself, two years later, in a better position to start the whole process all over again.

People throw the term "make it" around in relation to a career in music a lot. Usually its the people who are not doing the career in music. The people who do stick with it, are usually the ones who have managed to successfully reject this common notion of "making it."

Because that's all we're doing anyway. Making it. Music. Music is the it. 
You make it, because you love making it. The outcome won't make you love making it any more or less. 

But you do want to be continually striving for unattainable perfection, knowing that it doesn't really exist but that what you can do is get infinitely better with every step. 

It took me hundreds of shows before a stage became as comfortable as the rest of the room that's not the stage. And plenty of playing in noisy spaces before it stopped distracting me. But I'm yet to conquer a few things like becoming that comfortable in the studio or on the busy streets of a city. So that part comes next.

The other day I took the bold step of leaving the world of the full time employed to return to doing this full time. 

What now? 

Thank you for taking the time to stumble through my journal archives.

Perhaps you will you will learn a thing or two while you are here.

I certainly did.

Half way through 2016 - after two years of working 9-5 office jobs, I decided to begin living life on my terms, dedicating all my time instead to building my career as an artist, or matters of importance like exploration, discovery, learning, giving etc, etc.

​For me this has meant learning to embrace freedom and uncertainty with open arms, knowing that you won't always know the way, but that the way will be made, and learning how to identify with geography, travel and home in a new way.

I hope my stories will inspire you to be bold, brave, and follow what it is you truly want fearlessly.